i am watching a new show called taboo on FX. the main character, James Delaney (played by Tom Hardy), loves a woman he is "not supposed to love." and despite the odds, and trust me, they are the worst kind of "odds," Tom Hardy is so convincing as this character. the mood of the show is terrific and brooding. it's sexy and dark and mystical. it's safe to say that i love it. it is also the inspiration for this piece. enjoy.

i watch men pretend to love women on screen,
find myself in a daydream, 
diving further into imagination
as if it is reality, 
their written love.

somewhere i like to think it is.

i am intoxicated by the ways men love women. 
like it is their duty. the dark and the light.
but the "dark" love is the most intriguing. the angst-filled kind. 

the way his voice sounded when he named her, "my love," in the narration of a written letter... the way he looks at her... the way he tells her they will see each other again, even in dreams... the way he uses magic to reach into her in the peak of the night... 
i imagine them making love with one thought in the back of my mind: the way a man loves a woman when he truly loves her.

not when he thinks he loves her, is afraid to love her, or simply does not, but sleeps with her only because she is there and willing. 

i mean the ways a man truly makes love to a woman, 
in a multitude of ways. 
to her body, her mind, her soul. 
her entire being, held in reverence, passion, love, romance, lust... the convergence
of two wholes into holiness. the ways he cannot resist her essence and spirit and physical being. the way he loves her spirit manifested in her divine earthly shape.
to be on the receiving end of that love is the kind of intoxication that no drug may ever match. nor would i ever want it to.

ardent, unapologetic, true, and deep.

we prepare for each other. 
finally, i have met myself. 
i have loved myself deeper than ever.
freckles line along my limbs; a path that will lead you to me. 
light illuminate your way. 
from my feet to my heart to my neck to my lips. 
where we meet. where we are drunk on one another.

men love women
like bee
loves flower
taking all it needs
gains power

women provide life
woman is life

men who love women
like the wolf who howls at the moon
sets sights on prey
lovingly claws at coveted flesh
simultaneously wanting the best

kissing bruises onto skin
he will take a life if needed
for all must respect her as he does

the look in a man's eye when the passion has taken over... 
when his mission has become clear…

(photo)